One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in love is that effort doesn’t equal success—or more love.
It’s not like sports or other skills, where you’d assume that the harder you try, the better the results.
No.
It was a hard and cruel lesson.
So I’m not ashamed anymore.
I can finally admit it.
I’ve had enough heartbreaks. I’ve watched enough movies. I’ve cried. I’ve liked. I’ve done everything.
And I think I can now finally admit that I am a hopeless romantic.
And I always will be.
I believe every girl goes through that phase—when you watch the Disney movies, the soppy dramas, and you believe all of it.
The linear story. The predictable characters. The happy endings.
And then you go through your first heartbreak.
Or you like the wrong person.
Or someone rejects you.
And you realize: that fantasy was only a fantasy.
So we start a new phase.
We pretend we don’t want any of that. That we don’t need it.
We say we can handle life alone. That every man is the same—he’ll lie, or cheat, or won’t be enough.
But I’m done with all of that.
Because I want the grand gesture.
I want the effort. The kind of effort no one expects—but then someone does it.
I want to feel like the exception, even if everyone says it’s impossible.
And I want it because I am the kind of person who does all of this.
And I no longer think I’m “asking for too much.”
Because I’ve done it.
I learned a foreign language.
I was ready to move cities.
I write letters. I send postcards.
I say things I mean.
And I listen to things nobody wants to hear.
And I’m proud of this.
Maybe I’m too much—too transparent, too direct, too sensitive.
But I always make the effort.
If I commit to something—a person, a promise, a cause—it’s real. It’s until the end.
So from now on, I expect the same.
And I won’t pretend I don’t.
Because I’m the kind of person who goes the extra mile—and burns all the fuel.
Who lights up until having no more.
Who comes running after what matters.
So if you ever say that you would—
I hope you mean it, too.
Because I still want the grand gesture.
- June 21, 2025
- The Loose Red Strings